Originally written and published on February 20, 2013.
The innocence of a child is a characteristic I envy. As children we dream of the future and fail to see any obstacles to get us there. We aspire to be the next president, a doctor that cures cancer, the Queen of England, the next Bill Gates, or even Batman. Money and education is not a problem, for what we don’t have we will get. Challenges and failure are an after thought, because at this point in life we don’t know they exist. Walt Disney stimulates our imagination and gives us hope for an ever after. “If you dream it you can can do it.” We watch our parents live without any struggle, since they hid it from us children. But as we grow up we are no longer blinded, our innocence fades, we experience life, we learn the difference between dreams and reality, and we no longer believe in fairy tales. Us girls never forget the words to Cinderella’s song "A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes", but we do forget how to listen to our heart.
My dream was to own a boutique. I didn’t want to feed the world, I wanted to DRESS THE WORLD. I was on the right path with years of retail management experience and the best college education at the one and only Texas A&M University. ((WHOOP)) I was working hard to get to the goal line, but then I just gave up. I literally gave up. I yearned for respect. I could no longer live with others putting my profession down. They saw it as me giving up on life, but in all reality their opinions made me give up on my life. I started to believe that I shouldn’t chase after my dream. I told myself that every boy grows up wanting to be a football player, but they grow up and replace the helmet and shoulder pads with a suit and tie. I told myself that I needed to grow up and find a big girl job. I let the storm cloud my vision.
So here I am, 4 years later with a great job not in retail. I’m no longer living paycheck to paycheck. My job comes with respect. I’m finally able to have holidays and weekends off. I have a hot fiancé that works for the same company. I have an amazing working relationship with my bosses, co-workers, patients, and vendors. I have everything a girl could want. Right? WRONG.
I became a very jealous person. Of course I was happy for all my friends who achieved their dreams. When they would tell me about their new job opportunity, going to graduate school, or moving to New York City; I was ecstatic for them, but with a side of jealousy. This was most evident with my mom.
Long before my mom became a successful business owner of Yonna’s Fashion, I dreamt of owning my own boutique. My mom is the hardest worker I know. With the love and support of my dad, she grew her business from a small booth into a successful company. I was thrilled at her success, but I couldn’t help envying her situation. I lived vicariously through her. I was the happiest when I was helping my mom with her store. I loved working trade shows, on her website, Facebook, etc. I was happy when I was living our dream.
The summer of 2011, I decided to re-chase my dreams. I purchased a DBA. It was more than a piece of paper with a business name. It was symbolism that no one else can have my dream. It was my dream, and I was going after it. I contacted a realtor to lease a store front. I got more involved with my mom’s business. I was back on track to crossing the finish line, but once again I gave up. This time it wasn’t for a lack of respect. Heck, I finally had that, but I didn’t have courage. I feared failing.
On Sunday, February 3, 2013 I received words of encouragement from a dear friend of mine. She sent me the following text, “If you only do what you know you can do, you never do very much.” – Tom Krause. Her text gave me comfort. The words of Tom Krause erased all of my fear.
She wasn’t the only one who believed in me. I had the support of my family, fiancé, and friends. It was I who did not believe in myself. I always had an excuse to “why not now.” Money. Timing. I always had an excuse. I then realized there was never going to be a perfect time. So, if not now then when?
So I did it! On Super Bowl Sunday, I committed. I got a Sales Tax ID to go with my DBA. I signed papers to rent a lock-and-lease for First Monday Canton Trade Days. I hired a carpenter to help me with my newly rented space. I took over my mom’s booth inside Serendipity Market and gave it a face lift. I went to manufacturers and bought my own merchandise. I hired a website designer. I learned that today is the day.
I have no intentions of quitting my big girl job, but I can have my cake and eat it too. I can have stability and income from one, and I can achieve my dreams with the other. The person I thank the most for the push is my fiancé. He not only supported my dream, but he dreamt with me. My dream became our dream. My future became our future. He reminded me how to listen to my heart. He reminded me that I can have my prince charming and live happily ever after. He reminded me fairy tales do exist. Without him, I would have never been able to take the leaps and bounds. So far I’m not falling; but when I do, I will get back up, for I have his strength to help me.
All pictures found in today’s post can be found on my pinterest board.